all my suspicions haf been confirmed.
the first being that i DID wake up at 7:30 am this morning...>.> wonder when ill break outa THAT habit. till then, i'll hafta start sleeping early to make up for lack of sleep, illness, and loss of blood. joyyy. for now, ive been suffering weakness and tiredness...my body and mind are drained. i feel restless and i try doing things, only to run out of engery and hafta sit down.
which leads me to my next suspicion.
i was wondering if i would indeed be able to finally sit down and not haf a single worry on my mind. to at least take a good month of peace and quiet...time to write, draw, work on a website i wanna make...time to do the things *i* want to do. but i suspected...i wouldnt be able to.
convo between my dad and me:
dad: so now that u haf 7 months of nothing to do, wat do u plan on doing?
me: *jokingly smiles* nothing!
dad: o really? *gives me a ...nasty look* i thought ud at LEAST get a job, u kno, help pay for ur schooling, ur car insurance, stuff like that
i dont remember wat i said next, or whether i said ne thing...or just shrugged, but he said
dad: will u even want to do ne thing after not doing ne thing for so long?
me: *still smiling* eh...i never want to do ne thing
end conversation
decided: suspicion confirmed
NO renae, breaks are unheard of. in life u must ALWAYS be working, and at something u do not enjoy either. no FUCK ART, art means fucking shit, FUCK WRITING, because itz not worth ur time. now u gotta find a job, then perhaps join an acitivity of some sort - wat the hell! why not work full time, and then do this club after school.
ok and things just got worse, my mom just told me that my dad was saying how he didnt suspect keane would be here for so long..and pretty much hes getting so pissed @ how irresposible he is.
fucking HELL i cant take this. i just thought, i wanna get outa this house, i wanan go somewhere. and i thought of all the places i could go
and
theres no where
no where to go....
